In the past, I have had words find me — in a serendipitous manner with a lace of intuition. This year was no exception as my favorite poet and artist, Morgan Harper Nichols, created an Instagram Reel of suggested words for the year. A screenshot determined my word this year, but I am certain it was meant for me (even if it were a millisecond between my word and another.)
I was clouded with so many fearful thoughts of the future, the what-ifs and I can’ts and worry-mixed-with-doubt. It was hard to gain clarity and even find out the truth in God’s sight: what is the best decision and next-right-thing? If only I could see through the fear, I pondered; what would that feel like? A sigh of relief, a breath of fresh air, and peace? Likely all of the above.
Discernment is a tool in our spiritual arsenal – one of the Holy Spirit gifts to us. It guides us to the will of God, which is to say the best possible outcome for us.
This year I choose blossom as my Word because it represents my intention to grow from the roots I planted as a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5) and build back what was broken through the vehicle of relationship.
It was the morning of the most important interview of my career; with emotions running haywire and hormones adding a dizzying effect, I decided that I just couldn't go to my interview that afternoon. The fear shouted so loudly that I couldn't hear the voice of wisdom that knew to show up despite the very big feelings. This was my dream job, after all!
As we honor the great Dr. King, remember your path will always accelerate by choosing love. Carrying around baggage of hate, resentment or anger is far too heavy a burden for your heart to manage. Lighten the load by forgiving yourself first, then others.
Release your emotions via whichever healthy method you prefer: prayer, meditation, exercise, rest, journaling or any number of activities that lessen the load you carry.
The potential of a lighter heart is limitless. And remember to open up to receive love as well. It is often a remedy simply to connect with others in laughter or even tears if you feel like releasing that way.
By giving our heavy emotions attention either in our own heart or with trusted companions, this focus alone is the first step to healing.
On my journey to repair my broken heart, I discovered that in feeling the depth of my pain, I actually feel more whole than ever before. And my whole heart is ready to love on a new plane, one that understands love as if I am love. That’s what I am when fear is stripped away. That’s why I am here.
And so coming to this place of love, for myself and for everyone in my life (including those I felt betrayed by), I find myself wanting to go to that place where love thrives. I want to escape the mundane grind of everyday life and create one that is riddled with love: friendly love, sibling love, platonic love, romantic love and unconditional love.
As a society, we are wired to search for love—to complete a part of us that we feel is lacking by plucking an elusive partner (as if we truly know what’s best for us). You decide that this stranger will somehow make your life better by filling up some space inside your heart that feels incomplete.
And so as the law of attraction states, you will also attract someone who is looking for a partner to complete them. I’m not a math whiz by any means, but I know that two halves make a whole. The problem with this is: once you remove one half, you cannot be whole. You are very simply putting yourself in a vulnerable situation in which you rely on another person to feel whole. Not only is this absolutely dangerous for your wellbeing, but it is just as treacherous for the other half of your equation. The immense pressure you’ve just set each other up for is not only unhealthy, but unsustainable too.
I have been the co-dependent girl who searched for love outside myself to feel whole. I know the very empty place it leaves you in when someone cannot live up to the absolutely impossible job you’ve signed them up for. An even worse predicament arises when your other half needs to feel whole too. You gather what you can from your already depleted reserve, but you cannot give what you do not already possess.
So after two failed relationships in a row, I decided to get wiser. My whole world simply cannot crumble if my partner doesn’t take so much of it with them. I knew if I were to succeed in love, I had to look inward. I could spend my life in denial and blame others for my heartbreak or I could get busy uncovering the void in my heart that attributed to my relationship demise.
I would choose to love myself first. I would feel the immense pain in my heart and I would use that as fuel for my self discovery. If we search for love to fill a void in our own lives, we most certainly don’t love ourselves fully and we cannot embrace (or find) the love that lingers in our own heart.
I decided to create a sense of wholeness, one that would render me independent, self sufficient and wildly in love with my life and myself. Rumi reminds me time and time again that “Your task is not to seek love but to find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
Self love or lack thereof was my biggest hurdle. I couldn’t find the place of peace in my own heart that would sustain me. I wouldn’t accept my own life circumstances and feel gratitude for what I do have. So I went to find peace outside myself and that always managed to be from relationships. Placing myself in their life always seemed better than what I was dealing with. But after living a life that didn’t feel authentic, attempting to love with less than a whole heart while lifting them up inside, and feeling lost at the end, I knew I had it all wrong. And two wrong, less than whole people don’t make a right (and never will).
Fast forward one year of being single and learning to love myself and others unconditionally. And let me tell you a secret. You do not need to be in a relationship to do this. I would actually urge you not to be in a relationship at this time. You will most certainly attract the same kind of less than whole people while in this phase of your progression. And unless you feel strongly that the universe has delivered this person to you in order to hammer the lesson into your brain further (and you might very well need another dose of reality), do not invest your time in a relationship right now.
Love yourself during this time. Look into the shadows of your soul to find why you have a less than loving perspective of yourself. Friends and family are a beautiful blessing to your during this time. They are also a reflection of the love you are radiating currently and will reflect any less than loving feelings that may arise. If we cannot love our close friends or family unconditionally, then odds are we won’t be able to love anyone else to that degree either.
Go back to the drawing board every time your inclination is to judge or show any behavior that is less than loving toward yourself or your loved ones. It is here that you can learn to reconstruct your programmed mind that keeps you safe from perceived dangers, protects your heart and tells you what is right or wrong in any case. You can only place right or wrong on your own journey based on how loving you feel in that moment. We cannot place any semblance of right or wrong on others; they’re fighting their own inner battle, so you must continue to show up with love.
Ego will fight against this loving sentiment and place fear where love should be (especially if someone is showing you less than loving intentions). Know that it isn’t personal; showing someone less than love by reacting negatively only hurts you.
When you are love, you recognize love and see no barriers to it. You can fall in love in one day. You can let your deepest, most vulnerable self be seen and touched by another. And you can give up your search for love, because you are love. And the love you are will undoubtedly attract that same love in another.
If you are whole and you are love, then your partner will be whole and will be love. Together two whole hearts will create a love that illuminates every part of your world. You will grow and be tested in unforeseen ways. You will feel like your best self where your soul continues to shine. You won’t need or require the love of another, yet you’ll be lucky enough to have it when you lose sight of the love in your own heart. They will see your resilient spirit. And they will never let you forget where you’ve been or where you’re going with an open and loving heart.
Together, the unity and vision you create will set you on a journey where you alone may not reach. You will give the ultimate gift of unconditional love and finally surrender to receive this gift in return. You will never take for granted the way this one makes you feel. And it will be your pleasure to remind them every day of the pristine heart they truly are.
I chose gratitude as my word of 2015. I constantly worked to create and cultivate this feeling in my everyday life through my gratitude jar. Gratitude filled my heart with acceptance, presence, awareness and ultimately love: love for what is, what has been and what could be.
I find myself choosing a new word for 2016.
Due to my year of gratitude, I am radiating happiness from within so brightly that I can’t help myself. I can’t help but shine that energy outward.
And so I am led quite effortlessly to my word for 2016: sprout.
Sprout where I have planted my gracious heart and allow that love to grow like weeds and spread like wildfire wherever I go.
Sprout with my roots of understanding and awareness of my limitless soul and potential for spreading light.
Sprout with the knowledge I acquired from relentlessly watering my hungry heart last year.
Sprout with intention to discover the potential of my purpose as a light seeker, love dweller and infinite soul.
Sprout with the faith to trust another human with my heart and gently hold theirs in my palm.
Sprout with the dream I have placed on my heart and harness the power to create it step by step.
Sprout with the lessons I hold emblazoned on my heart as a reminder to live boldly and bravely always.
Sprout with the kindness and compassion that one gathers only by living with an open heart.
How will you grow in 2016?
Ditch the resolutions and simply choose to sprout where you are planted. Know in your heart that you are perfect in this moment.
Always water your heart with more love than you think is needed. Only then will you have an overflow of joy to affect those around you.
Here are my tips for taking the love in your heart and spreading seeds of intention wherever you go:
Choose a random act of kindness that pervades the current state of our world with hope. Acts can involve money but favors and deeds will impact someone on a deeper level.
Befriend someone you know could use some uplifting and encouragement.
Hug longer and harder than you usually do and don’t be the one to let go first.
Pause in moments when you want to react adversely and choose to be your higher self.
Smile at strangers. You won’t know how much they need your light until you see it reflected in their reaction.
And if your 2016 is beginning in a dark place, choose to spread your kindness inward and love yourself through whatever battle you are facing.
You are love. You are enough. And you too can sprout after you put down loving roots in your heart.
Close this year’s doornot in fear but in love.
Love yourself enough
to never look back,
but face the new year
with dreams in sight.
Turn your shining self
toward the coming year,
filled with the possibility
of a fearless, open heart.
This year, let love in
then let love grow.
Find a place for gratitude
to permeate your being.
Manifest your intention
with action-filled faith.
Look toward the moon
when darkness starts to fall.
For the sun will always rise
with a new chance to shine.
