Make Friends With Fear

As my journey continues to take me further off into the unknown, I have grappled with fear. We all deal with fear.

Without conscious practice and acknowledgement, fear can derail us from following our heart.

My spiritual awakening is paying off as I learn to work with fear rather than bury it (or worse—ignore it altogether).

It takes more energy to work against fear than it does to work with it.

Fear is not the enemy when we make friends with it.

It is a vital part of who we are, so invite fear along as if it were a wise friend; it is there for a reason.

Fear keeps us safe in times of danger and sustains us throughout perilous times of change.  

When we make friends with fear and allow it to be heard, we can gently let it know our plans.

Be grateful for the role fear plays, but affirm you are choosing a different route—courageous love.

The development of a healthy ego alongside a courageous spirit ensures we have all we need to navigate this world.

-Sarah Varcas

Fear lands us right at the same intersection we left it, at the corner of been there and done that. Unless we choose a path to love by opening our heart to everything below the surface of fear, we will experience the same unfulfilling and predictable outcomes while hiding from our own emotions.

When fear becomes your lighthouse it will perpetually lead you to darkness.

-Kris Carr

Fear's number one job is to keep us safe and secure in the comfort of our current reality. It certainly doesn't want us to dig deep into the crevices of our heart and soul, because when we listen to our deepest calling and inner knowing we inevitably come to meet the complacency and unfulfilling path that our fears keep us traversing along.

Choose a New Path

There's no security in following love or dreams or desires, because those things offer zero certainty. They DO offer rewards that far exceed the risk we take to follow our heart—happiness, fulfillment, joy, purpose and self care.

Choosing love via adventures, self worth, soul searching, soul mates, dreams, fulfilling careers, or any multitude of things calling to your heart is the only way to live freely with empowerment, purpose and inner peace.

The next time fear starts to speak, go ahead, have a dialogue with it.

"Thank you, Ego, for doing your job; I want you to know that I am choosing to listen to my heart. I already know where you take me, and I'm ready to chart a new course this time. I sure hope you'll come along. I'm still going to need you."

Listen to your intuition to determine whether fear is playing a healthy role, or sabotaging your dreams by halting any momentum.

When fear is kindly put in its place, we make space for the whispers of our soul to be heard. The calling of our heart or the curiosity of our Higher Self begins to flourish. 

It takes often might courage to honour the truth as we see it, especially when it sets us apart from others or challenges the status quo.

-Sarah Varcas

If life is providing you opportunities to grow or revealing experiences to test your heart's desires, say yes. Step outside of your comfort zone, and make one step at a time.

You may not know where the path to Love takes you, but I can guarantee you haven't been there yet. And don't forget to invite along courage, faith and trust. You're going to need them.

By staying present to both our fears and our hopes and dreams, we assertively take action that befits our current reality. Dreams are healthy so long as we take one curious step at a time.

The Crossroads

So, you know that crossroads I speak of often? The one at the intersection of love and fear? I am once again at a major crossroads. MAJ. And as much as I talk love and am love, I still grapple with fear. We all do. And so my challenge lately is to live what I teach, and that is what I'm here to show you.

After every battle I've faced and every mountain I crawled up ( sometimes reluctantly so), I have reached the peak of my current journey. I can tell you with complete candor that I believed I could get here, but I had no idea how it would all transpire.

That is because God's plan is always ten times greater than the one our small, scared mind could imagine. Your heart may see the potential (even if we do not know how to navigate the journey), but out minds will always stay firmly placed in known, conquered territory. Ego makes damn sure of this.

But I am here to tell you that the plan I now see, the one I'm dying to say yes to, is so much greater than I thought possible. And the details, the ones I poured hours of worry and overthinking into? Those worked themselves out too. Shocker.

The view I see at the top of this peak (one I envisioned for nearly a decade) is breathtakingly beautiful. I now understand why my life took me down treacherous and difficult paths. I now know what my purpose is and what I am called to do on this Earth. But the catch is: all that I need to do in order to grow into my essence and life calling is taking a giant leap of faith into the unknown.

I have taken countless giant leaps in the past, each one working out better than the last. I know that if I say yes, if I just fall back on my steadfast faith, I will soar off this ledge with the wings I have acquired this year.

On the dawn of my year of yes (2016) and my time to sprout, I am here to tell you that I too have questioned, doubted, and struggled with how to overcome my fears and say yes. Luckily, I serve a faithful, loving God who has stood alongside me every step of the way.

As I sat overlooking my new view with a fire burning in my chest, paired with endless affirmations that it is indeed time to press on full speed into the life I am being called to, I came back to that crossroads. I have to keep stepping down the same path of love to get where I am going. So, I am choosing love. I am saying YES.

My patience and faith-filled actions paid off while I fervently waited, steeping in gratitude, until the stars aligned, until I reached the culmination of my past and the beginning of my promising future.

How will you know that the stars have aligned? You will know because of the "towers of flame" (as Elizabeth Gilbert perfectly phrased) inside your heart and soul. The pace of your heartbeat begins to quicken every time you are stepping closer toward that dream. And the once small voice in your heart will be screaming at you to beckon.

If you are anything like me and have that burning sensation in your heart to follow your own dreams, or even if the flame is but a whisper (or hasn't yet been lit), it is time to quiet your mind and listen to your heart. No matter how quiet the cry may be, the heart knows.

Will you honor yourself by listening to it? Will you take the road less traveled?

What If...

God is a cloud from which rain fell. —Dejan Stojanovic, The Sun Watches the Sun

What if a hummingbird is God's way of telling us to soak up the sweet nectar of life?

What if God gave us stars so we can be reminded of his light at night?

What if the stars are a reminder to search for our own light even when we cannot see it?

What if a rainbow is His way of telling us to seek out his Grace even if we cannot see the end in sight?

What if our soulmate is God's way of ensuring we reach our highest potential?

What if His love, love for ourselves, and love for others is why we are here?

Look for God's signs of love, and when He rains down in sadness or jubilant joy, know that the result is love.

For we have to feel all we feel in darkness to return to the light inside.

—Karilyn Owens

Courage to Be Myself

One doesn’t often dig into the meaning of a word, the essence behind it, or the root of the word itself. Brené Brown does this like a champ in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection. One word’s meaning stuck out to me more than others, a word that defines my journey to an open heart: courage. The root of the word courage is in fact heart (cor). Brené defines courage as the ability to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart. This might have been the single most vulnerable action in my journey as it was what I most struggled with in my downfall.

My heart was shrunken and shriveled, unable to reveal the truth it held deep in its shadowy depth. I needed courage like I needed air. It was every bit as vital as the breath I took to survive. Yet, when I reached down to sit with my heart and the truth it carried, I was frozen with fear.

Instead of courageously speaking my mind by revealing the truth in my heart, I gave into fear and stayed silent. The repercussions, it turns out, for stifling your essence and what you know in your heart to be true, is steep and as sharp as lies.

Although I attempted to be honest with myself, I shivered at the thought of allowing anyone else to hear the truth. Courage requires vulnerability (another of Brene’s choice words), a powerful act that most people deny themselves of. Allowing myself to be deeply seen and known by revealing my deepest fears and desires was my key to my open heart.

I understood that by owning my truth and setting it free, my life would certainly be flipped upside down, unrecognizable even to me. I had nothing left to lose, because had I not chosen courage and stepped out to forge my own path, I would have become a lifeless extension of someone else’s dream.

When the next step seemed crippling and petrifying, I found that choosing someone I trust to remain accountable with was critical to moving forward. My sister, also known as my “courage companion,” helped lure the buried pieces of my shattered heart by offering me a safe place to unleash the ticking time bomb in my mind.

Those shards reflected what I needed desperately to be heard. I unconsciously let out a statement that I had held captive for far too long. I began to feel empowered and realized through this process how badly I needed to release the grip I held onto the status quo.

It takes an enormous amount of surrender. It takes letting go of the life you held together like pieces that never seemed to fit quite right. It takes letting go of the life you live so you can live the life you imagine.

Allowing my most vulnerable self to be seen was my ticket to begin a new journey, one soaked in authenticity and soul. Had I not chosen courage and slipped further into a half-lived life, I could not have received the imminent blessings awaiting. I couldn’t have opened my heart to reveal the shining light of my soul. I owe everything to courage.

What stands on the other side of your truth is a multitude of freedom in your heart, soul and body. Whatever it takes to cross over is undeniably worth it. Whatever pain, life changes, paralysis, confusion and darkness will eventually be set on fire with the light of living authentically in your own truth.

Before we can let the light in, we have to let go of the darkness.