It was the morning of the most important interview of my career; with emotions running haywire and hormones adding a dizzying effect, I decided that I just couldn't go to my interview that afternoon. The fear shouted so loudly that I couldn't hear the voice of wisdom that knew to show up despite the very big feelings. This was my dream job, after all!
I went to my mom who is a Spiritual Director and source of wisdom when I cannot see straight; she advised me to go to the interview anyway. When I refused this prudent option, she talked me down from my panic attack and got me grounded using a technique that never fails: noticing the nearby sights, smells and sounds until your nervous system is no longer hijacked by fear.
I did later show up to that interview, after I to calmed down and allowed my fear to take a back seat. That was over a year ago; I now have the best job I could imagine because I decided to follow where fear said I shouldn't go and listen to that still, small voice that God was leading me to heed and follow.
the struggle
One of my greatest struggles in life has been to make sound decisions, especially when it comes to following through with decisions. Even more than that has been to trust in the decisions I make (my follow-through is a disaster).
Because I haven’t been able to trust myself to make wise decisions, I tend to avoid decisions altogether and live in indecision,(which is to say I put a stake in the ground and stay stuck). I have learned that I can’t always trust myself, but I can trust in God to help me make better decisions.
I have since turned to God with big decisions (and even small), which has taught me so much. I hope others can benefit from this knowledge and grow to make sound decisions too. Here’s how:
Start at the Source
The Bible is full of scriptures on decision making; our minds tend to be a battlefield and can confuse us to the point where we don’t know. which direction is up anymore. And that’s exactly where Satan wants us to stay – in a fearful, confused, and doubt-ridden state.
We have to combat our tendency to stay in a fearful state and work to renew our mind every single day - so we can see clearly enough to make wise decisions.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2
The next right move
My mom recommended a book, The Next Right Thing, that has greatly helped me in my decision making efforts. The author, Emily Freeman, advises her reader to look to God when making decisions. She implores her readers to discern what the next best step in God’s sight would be. In other words, whichever step is in alignment with God’s will for us is the move we should make.
A Christian YouTuber put it beautifully in a way I’ve never heard it before:
do the next right thing in faith with excellence for the glory of God. That is all we can ever do.
That is, take one tiny-yet-small-step once we discern the next right thing.
So, how do we actually know God’s will for us— that next right move? We carefully and intentionally take our time. We slow down, pace ourselves and get into action—not the action but the decision-making process. For me, I take the following action steps in my decision-making process:
Pray for wisdom
Renew my mind
Purify my heart
Seek wise counsel
Stay in God’s word
Remain open
Hearing from God
Combined, all of this looks like the discernment process. I trust in this process with all my biggest decisions.
Give yourself permission to take this time to reach a wise decision that you know is right for you—without rushing to figure out the answer. It is perfectly alright to live in the question with an open curiosity—waiting on God’s wisdom to arrive in the way intended for you.
Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
Psalm 51: 6