The Crossroads

So, you know that crossroads I speak of often? The one at the intersection of love and fear? I am once again at a major crossroads. MAJ. And as much as I talk love and am love, I still grapple with fear. We all do. And so my challenge lately is to live what I teach, and that is what I'm here to show you.

After every battle I've faced and every mountain I crawled up ( sometimes reluctantly so), I have reached the peak of my current journey. I can tell you with complete candor that I believed I could get here, but I had no idea how it would all transpire.

That is because God's plan is always ten times greater than the one our small, scared mind could imagine. Your heart may see the potential (even if we do not know how to navigate the journey), but out minds will always stay firmly placed in known, conquered territory. Ego makes damn sure of this.

But I am here to tell you that the plan I now see, the one I'm dying to say yes to, is so much greater than I thought possible. And the details, the ones I poured hours of worry and overthinking into? Those worked themselves out too. Shocker.

The view I see at the top of this peak (one I envisioned for nearly a decade) is breathtakingly beautiful. I now understand why my life took me down treacherous and difficult paths. I now know what my purpose is and what I am called to do on this Earth. But the catch is: all that I need to do in order to grow into my essence and life calling is taking a giant leap of faith into the unknown.

I have taken countless giant leaps in the past, each one working out better than the last. I know that if I say yes, if I just fall back on my steadfast faith, I will soar off this ledge with the wings I have acquired this year.

On the dawn of my year of yes (2016) and my time to sprout, I am here to tell you that I too have questioned, doubted, and struggled with how to overcome my fears and say yes. Luckily, I serve a faithful, loving God who has stood alongside me every step of the way.

As I sat overlooking my new view with a fire burning in my chest, paired with endless affirmations that it is indeed time to press on full speed into the life I am being called to, I came back to that crossroads. I have to keep stepping down the same path of love to get where I am going. So, I am choosing love. I am saying YES.

My patience and faith-filled actions paid off while I fervently waited, steeping in gratitude, until the stars aligned, until I reached the culmination of my past and the beginning of my promising future.

How will you know that the stars have aligned? You will know because of the "towers of flame" (as Elizabeth Gilbert perfectly phrased) inside your heart and soul. The pace of your heartbeat begins to quicken every time you are stepping closer toward that dream. And the once small voice in your heart will be screaming at you to beckon.

If you are anything like me and have that burning sensation in your heart to follow your own dreams, or even if the flame is but a whisper (or hasn't yet been lit), it is time to quiet your mind and listen to your heart. No matter how quiet the cry may be, the heart knows.

Will you honor yourself by listening to it? Will you take the road less traveled?

Love As I Know It

We need to be vulnerable enough to admit what we are feeling out loud to another person. I once heard something that stuck with me: "everything we say is for us to hear." We need to speak the truth in our heart; we need to be heard and seen by others to feel valued. It's when we hide our thoughts, feelings or emotions from others that we fall victim to our own lack of vulnerability.

Once we bravely share our soul/heart (love) and speak our mind (fear) to another person, we not only create that intimate bond, but we are rewarded with a sense of value and worth.

This is actually healing on a soul level. Emotions are just energy in motion. They are meant to move through us from our heart to another's. We are here to form relationships. So withholding emotions by stuffing them down inside our body has negative implications.

Choose to unleash emotions: the pinging of our heart or the anger deep in our tissue—the feelings we timidly hold from our partner or the gravity of our recent loss. Let it all go. Let your heart be heard. Let your truth be seen.

According to Brene Brown, this is love:

We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.

When we disown our feelings, we dishonor our partner by proxy. We build a dam to the intimacy and connection that otherwise grows when we are vulnerable.

This is why I adore the quote by Anais Nin. We hold the key for the potential of love in our own heart and between ourselves and another soul. It always starts with us, with our ability to face whatever insidious weed is rampantly spreading in our body.

It may feel like treacherous waters to wade into. It may seem debilitating to explore what can easily be diminished with liquor or food or sex. But unless we face our heart's longing to be open, we will fail to vanquish our emotion and fear.

The enemy of love is never outside, it’s not a man or a woman, it’s what we lack in ourselves.

—Anaïs Nin

If we tiptoe even with small steps of loving intention toward ourself, we will be empowering our emotions. It takes feeling what we've spent too long avoiding. I know all too well how feeling the weight of our emotions can be daunting, but let me be your walking testament: the weightlessness—the lightness we feel once the energy moves from our body—is worth battling our deepest wounds.

What If...

God is a cloud from which rain fell. —Dejan Stojanovic, The Sun Watches the Sun

What if a hummingbird is God's way of telling us to soak up the sweet nectar of life?

What if God gave us stars so we can be reminded of his light at night?

What if the stars are a reminder to search for our own light even when we cannot see it?

What if a rainbow is His way of telling us to seek out his Grace even if we cannot see the end in sight?

What if our soulmate is God's way of ensuring we reach our highest potential?

What if His love, love for ourselves, and love for others is why we are here?

Look for God's signs of love, and when He rains down in sadness or jubilant joy, know that the result is love.

For we have to feel all we feel in darkness to return to the light inside.

—Karilyn Owens