We need to be vulnerable enough to admit what we are feeling out loud to another person. I once heard something that stuck with me: "everything we say is for us to hear." We need to speak the truth in our heart; we need to be heard and seen by others to feel valued. It's when we hide our thoughts, feelings or emotions from others that we fall victim to our own lack of vulnerability.
Once we bravely share our soul/heart (love) and speak our mind (fear) to another person, we not only create that intimate bond, but we are rewarded with a sense of value and worth.
This is actually healing on a soul level. Emotions are just energy in motion. They are meant to move through us from our heart to another's. We are here to form relationships. So withholding emotions by stuffing them down inside our body has negative implications.
Choose to unleash emotions: the pinging of our heart or the anger deep in our tissue—the feelings we timidly hold from our partner or the gravity of our recent loss. Let it all go. Let your heart be heard. Let your truth be seen.
According to Brene Brown, this is love:
We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.
When we disown our feelings, we dishonor our partner by proxy. We build a dam to the intimacy and connection that otherwise grows when we are vulnerable.
This is why I adore the quote by Anais Nin. We hold the key for the potential of love in our own heart and between ourselves and another soul. It always starts with us, with our ability to face whatever insidious weed is rampantly spreading in our body.
It may feel like treacherous waters to wade into. It may seem debilitating to explore what can easily be diminished with liquor or food or sex. But unless we face our heart's longing to be open, we will fail to vanquish our emotion and fear.
The enemy of love is never outside, it’s not a man or a woman, it’s what we lack in ourselves.
—Anaïs Nin
If we tiptoe even with small steps of loving intention toward ourself, we will be empowering our emotions. It takes feeling what we've spent too long avoiding. I know all too well how feeling the weight of our emotions can be daunting, but let me be your walking testament: the weightlessness—the lightness we feel once the energy moves from our body—is worth battling our deepest wounds.