Let's talk about the concept of enough: good enough smart enough pretty enough skinny enough rich enough practical enough. There can never be enough it seems. We have this insatiable desire in this culture to be enough.
But when is enough, enough? Where do we draw the line and say, Ok, enough already? When have you ever said, "I am good enough?"
If you are like me, those words never came across your mind much less uttered aloud. My life became an endless quest for enough of this or enough of that but nothing ever seemed to reach that ultimate state of satisfaction. I could never reach that state.
I made that state unreadable because I am a perfectionist. Well, recovering perfectionist to be exact. It's a daily struggle, but I'm on the band wagon to striving for good over perfection.
And when we no longer have to be perfect we can be good.
-John Steinbeck
I killed myself striving for the ultimate satisfaction: perfection on all accounts, but even then where does the line in the sand get drawn? Perfection in my eyes was unattainable because I set myself up to fail.
That is because perfection is not the means of satisfaction; satisfaction comes in knowing I am already good enough. Perfect, no. But I have long since retired the endless pursuit of perfection. I do however subscribe to the notion that I am perfectly imperfect, just as God created me.
And I know I am good. When we subscribe to the notion that we are good enough, the pursuit we tirelessly embark on becomes null. We breathe with the knowingness that we can simply be. Wouldn't it feel good to just be?
If we drop the need to be something other than who we are, what we are or where we are, we might just stumble upon some peace and happiness in the present. Striving for perfection or even anything above already good enough becomes a vicious cycle that steals our joy in the present.
Whatever it is that evokes that feeling of never good enough, we have to surrender to finding satisfaction where we are. Sure there are goals to achieve and a need to move toward them, but if we can find it within ourselves to be at peace in the present with whatever is, that sense of wellbeing and happiness will become far more important than whatever means to be better we have going on.
If we relax into the present and feel good enough in our current skin, current job, current financial status, current relationship status, current home and current family, the sense of peace we create and happiness we embody allows us to naturally flow to where we can accept ourselves and current situation. This acceptance ultimately brings us to the place where we find what we were striving for unsuccessfully.
Take our body for example: each diet or exercise regimen that gets us from here to there is telling ourselves I am not ok with where I am today. This sends negative signals to our brain which then disperses the resulting negative energy to our body (they're closely connected you see).
If we relax into where we are now with acceptance, we will see the picture for what it really is: a loving reminder to teach us a better way. Because loving ourselves means taking care of ourselves. Eating well and exercising well becomes a pleasurable expression of self care and self love rather than one of shame and self disgust. If we feel good enough today, we can naturally ease into habits of radiant health and self care, because acceptance equals love. And love raises our being into a higher vibration that supports our best selves. When it we focus on having a happy body and being our best self, size and weight can slip away in favor of feeling good in our bodies no matter what package we come in.
And truly, this self love and acceptance translates into every area of our life. It turns out, being good enough means being happy with where we are. Which in this culture is virtually impossible, but I like to think anything is possible with the right intentions. And wouldn't it feel wonderful to set the intention to be good already? Relax into the feeling that wherever you are it is good enough. You are good enough, damn it.
Now repeat after me:
I am good enough.
I am smart enough.
I am pretty enough
I am rich enough.
I am skinny enough.
Doesn't it feel good to be good enough? Where will we draw the line in the proverbial sand of goodness and admit we are already enough?
People along the way plant seeds that we aren't enough—parents, friends, media, strangers, or even partners. A seed can turn into an incessant strive to convince them (and ourselves) that we're not only good enough but more than they ever measure us to be.
We deserve to take back what they stole from us: our right to goodness. The only perception that truly matters is our own. Who in their right mind has the capacity to determine whether we measure up? When did they become the authority of our goodness? We are the only ones who can claim our goodness as it is today; otherwise we will always be attempting to measure up to someone else's idea of good, which breeds the cycle of never good enough. And that cycle is causing us to run into the ground trying to add up.
Oftentimes, the worst critic is the one living in our own minds. We drive ourselves into a wall by being overly hard on ourselves. But if we can not only give up on measuring up to other's standards but our own inner judgement, we can finally find that sense of peace in knowing we are good enough.