My word of the year in 2021 was expand—and oh how this resonates with the way my life has become aligned with some deep intentions, prayerful discernment and straight-up, scary courage. But it’s all been worth it.
Shortly after I lost my job in December of 2020, I accepted a design position I thought was “meant for me” because it landed in my lap. I had grown weary in my given field and lost interest yet I told my recruiter otherwise when I agreed to interview with a marketing agency. I jumped at the opportunity to regain security and employment before I reflected on how God had used that job loss to redirect my path.
However, I walked through the door, lying to both myself and my new employer, feigning both interest and excitement. After a few days, the reality of my mistake sunk in and I realized I was selling my soul and turning away from God’s plan for me. This job might have been meant for the old me but the woman meant to expand into the truth of who I’ve become and what God has called me to wasn’t meant to walk through that door.
As hard as it was, I stepped back, admitted the job wasn’t meant for me and kept searching—inward mostly—though I continued to find full-time design jobs that required me to sell my soul and strive to be someone I’m not.
rejection is redirection
I heard one rejection after another as I forced my way down the workout path of my fear-based desires. All along, a small voice had spoken to me saying this isn’t what God nor I intended for me after uprooting me from my old job so I could expand into the field I’m destined to work in. Thankfully God allowed the rejection to redirect my career and work life; still I thought, “Hey, I’ll just try to slam through those doors anyway.”
While I got rejections letters for jobs I didn’t truly want, I started to get ones aligned with my expansion into a new destiny: teaching. I returned to substitute teaching in early 2021 and reignited a flame that had fizzled when I worked as a full-time designer. I said yes to teaching while doing odd jobs outside my comfort zone to pay the bills I left enough room open for God to work miracles according to His plans for me.
a new way forward
Don’t be afraid to stray from the path you’ve chosen simply because it’s what you’ve always done, what is expected of you or what seems right in someone else’s eyes. Being true to yourself and what lights you up is hard work; for a long time I felt so lost—wondering what I must be doing wrong, being rejected by job after job. But I wasn’t supposed to walk through those doors anymore.
I never really know what God has planned next, but my faith, intentions and ability to discern what’s for me is ever-expanding. Just when I feel like I have no idea what to do, God opens a door that I know I can confidently walk through. And for that I am grateful.
Today, because I allowed myself to live in the unknown and do things unconventionally, my life looks vastly different from what I thought it would. I leaned into the life I know is meant for me—one aligned with my intentions and purpose working with kids.