In the beautiful heart space I occupy daily, my subconscious floats to uncharted waters to feel the depth of love in my heart. I drifted off to an alternate universal love last night that allowed my heart to soar and expand in new ways. I found myself escaping a less than ideal situation through a small opening in a gate where I took off on an adventure with a lover. As we held hands and ran from our past situation (heartbreak represented here), we embarked on a journey together where neither knew the destination.
We discovered a small, lush green valley along our route that held a pristine basin of water in its lowest point. We were left rather tattered and dirty from the trip (as most relationships do on the uprise), so we took a dip in the water, hands still entwined. We she'd our clothes to wash them in the water; as he undressed his musculature revealed and the suppleness of his skin glistened in the reflection of the basin. He moved toward me and placed his hands on my face. He felt the line of my jaw, the peaks of my cheekbones and the curve of my lips. His large hands cupped my face and he felt the shape of my head. We sat in silence as he felt the exchange of energy this encounter brought. I was so entranced by his soul that I never realized he was blind. His hands moved down to my chest as he felt the quickening palpitations of my heart. He noticed the size of my heart grow with every excited beat.
As more time passed, the communication between our hearts filled the silent air. When he finally spoke, it was the first time I heard words from his lips. I had felt his heart speak but now it was audible. He told me, "I wanted to feel the beauty of your face through your structure. I wanted to feel the softness of your lips before they touch mine. I wanted to feel your heart beat before it became one with mine. And I wanted you to feel seen even without sight. I choose to recognize the way you feel not the way you look. I choose to feel the way you light up my soul simply because you are light. And I choose to linger in the spaces of your heart, the ones I fall into between each beat."
In that moment, I had never felt more seen by a soul before. And although I have the gift of sight, I didn't need it to feel the expanse of his soul. His soul told me everything I needed to know through the transfer of energy. If I am energy and he is energy, then there is no sight involved aside from the one our heart uses by feeling.
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched--they must be felt with the heart.
—Helen Keller
He moved in closer to me, hands still on my heart. I moved my hand to his heart and could have cupped it in my hand for it was beating outside of his chest. I laid my head in place of my hand and listened to the sound of his heart beat, one profound thump after another. I could have stayed there for an eternity listening to the song in his heart, for it told me far more than the words in his mind could. That song told me everything I ever needed to know.
I looked up into his eyes and although his gaze couldn't meet mine, he felt the beaming in them. His eyes were kind and innocent without the harsh pictures we have implanted in our minds. They were green with specks of hazel strewn about. He closed his eyes as I kissed each eye lid tenderly. I moved my lips toward his, my heated breath feeling it's way down his face. An electric shock made its way down my body as our lips embraced in a kiss.
His hands once again cupped my face as he passionately kissed my lips as if he were kissing my soul. Every ounce of energy rose in delight as our kiss lit up our bodies. There was penetration on a soul level where sex was not necessary. I moved my body closer to his as my arms wrapped tightly around his neck. Eyes closed and lips touching, I moved my hands around his skull and felt the ways in which he had blindly felt mine.
I couldn't have felt the depth of his love if I weren't already a being of love. I couldn't have appreciated the ways he could see me if I wasn't already a being of love. And I couldn't have allowed my heart to be felt, if i wasn't already a being of love.
When we are love, we recognize love and see no barriers to it. We can fall in love in one day. We can let our deepest, most vulnerable selves be seen and touched by another. And we can give up our search for love because we are love. And the love we are will undoubtedly attract that same love in another.
I promise you that sight will be secondary, because all you will care about is how your soul feels when you are with them. All you will know is how your heart leaps and skips a beat in their presence. And the messy road that got you here will fade into the dust of your half-lived life. Your heart will glide off into the sunset, no longer worried about the destination, but entranced only by the journey.