Covid-19 caught nearly all of us by surprise, leaving us ripped of our routines, schedules and normal circumstances — everything we typically rely on for stability and consistency. If we weren’t already prone to or struggling with depression, COVID-19 certainly stirred up prime circumstances for depression to show up (many of us without any prior experience with mental illness or the coping skills to deal with it in healthy ways).
As someone who deals with depression, I welcomed the familiar friend when Covid-19 opened the door to depression. For those of us who haven’t dealt with depression in the past or for a very long time, this friend was not just unwelcome and unexpected but far-too-unfamiliar to know how to handle.
Depression or a depressed mood is not something to fear, but it is necessary to know how to handle it. This information is by no means meant to be a diagnosis or treatment nor does it replace medical intervention and care. Seek help from a healthcare provider or mental health professional if you are struggling.
Here is a non-exhaustive list of how I have successfully dealt with depression in my own life:
Seek help from a licensed mental health care provider
I cannot emphasize the importance of seeking professional help; this big step can be daunting — so daunting that we avoid it at all costs (especially if we’ve never seen a therapist or counselor before). If you are too afraid to talk to a stranger, start with your primary care practitioner — it is easier to start the conversation about getting help with someone you are familiar with. They will likely be able to refer you to someone they know and trust (and can prescribe medication if they feel it is necessary).
Talk therapy is an important part of the recovery process because we not only show ourselves we are worthy of feeling better but we accept the help we need to start feeling better. Therapists are on our side and we really need someone who can truly listen objectively without judgment. It may feel scary to seek professional help, but when we realize it is scarier to stay stuck in a rut we can see that we really have nothing to lose by stepping outside our comfort zone and asking for help.
Step outside of yourself
When we are depressed, it’s easy to throw a pity party. Our mind gets very focused on the negatives of our situation, on how badly we feel and what is wrong with us. When we reach out to friends, family or neighbors to see how they are doing, we not only take our focus off of the negatives but we put our focus on others. This redirection not only lifts our spirits but it helps put an end to the pity we feel for ourselves. We remember we aren’t alone in our suffering, that others are suffering alongside us and it’s not all about us. By loving others we begin to allow the frozen feelings in our own hearts to flow more freely.
Get active
When we are depressed, our energy levels are at an all-time low; the last thing we feel like doing is exercising. It seems like too much energy to expend — energy we do not have a reserve of. The very thing that gets our energy moving again is activity. Even if we do not feel like getting up and getting active, it is the way we activate feel-good endorphins in our brain that will lift our moods and keep us moving forward.
Take up a hobby
When we are depressed and our routine is ripped away, we find ourselves with too much time on our hands. We thrive off of structure and routine as humans; our mind craves the stability it provides as it counts on the regimented nature of our lives as a way to predict the future. Our minds like to know what to expect and have some semblance of stability to rely on. When we no longer have this stability, our mind can go to a dark place (without a way to kow what the future holds). We may also face levels of boredom that no amount of Netflix can remedy. Taking up a hobby or returning to a hobby we enjoy truly fills our time in a meaningful and useful way that gives us something to do that stimulates or soothes our minds, bring us fulfillment and promote mindfulness. Hobbies can reduce the stress of our situation, lessen feelings of hopelessness and even bring back some joy into our lives.
Get dressed daily
It is easy to stay in pajamas or put on the same yoga pants we love to wear. Comfy clothes certainly prove useful during depression or simply while we’re stuck at home. When depression comes knocking at your door, getting dressed in street clothes does wonders. This not only makes you feel better but it encourages you to (safely) leave the house; it also helps us be a bit productive. Getting ourselves dressed may seem like an insignificant step to take, but with depression we need every little thing on our side to combat those feelings.
Adopt a morning routine
When we no longer have to be somewhere in the morning, it is far-too-tempting to sleep in and dink around all morning. Because we know our mind likes structure and routine, implementing a morning regimen is a tremendous support in overcoming depression. Our routine doesn’t need to be overly complicated or strict; it simply needs to be kept. If we try to overdo it, we’ll be less likely to follow through. Once we’ve incorporated one or two items we can build on those over time. Start small and build confidence in what you’re able to accomplish.
The thing about routines is when we stick to them, they become automatic in our brains, like brushing our teeth; we do not need to think about it. We just need to follow the habits that become cemented in our mind over time. Once we begin to adopt a simple routine each morning and feel comfortable with it, we can add an item that will support us in starting our day off on a solid foundation and inform our days positively.
Be kind to yourself
When we are depressed, we are the equivalent to a child who is sick; instead of a physical ailment we have a spiritual and emotional sickness. Nonetheless, we need to treat ourselves with the utmost kindness, love and compassion. This means we are kind to ourselves in our thoughts, actions and deeds. If we are struggling to treat ourselves in a compassionate way, we can ask ourselves, “What would my best friend say to me or do for me right now.” We can also help our self-care efforts by determining what we need in each moment, especially in the moments we feel hopeless and lost. Doing something kind for ourselves goes a long way in showing ourselves that we matter, are worthy of love, care and kindness and deserve to feel better.
Take a break
We tend to get immersed in the negative thinking that depression leads to — thoughts that lead to greater feelings of hopelessness and despair. We need to take breaks from the mental chatter that supports those feelings and give our minds (and hearts) a break from the heaviness of our situation and feelings. A break can come in many forms but some of the things I like to lean on for a break are: making art, watching a funny, light-hearted show or movie, taking a walk (or a nap), listening to uplifting/soothing music, baking, going on a bike ride, playing with my dog, dancing or doing yoga. Whatever can take our focus off of our situation and feelings and give us a reprieve — without sinking us further into a pit of despair — will be of tremendous benefit to us while dealing with depression.
Lean into your feelings
While we may want to avoid our feelings when depressed, it is the very feelings that linger beneath the surface that support us in feeling better. Feelings tend to get trapped when we avoid them, building up inside us and creating tension that leads to anger, agitation or numbness. When we are experiencing these emotions (or lack thereof), we are more susceptible to unhealthy coping mechanisms. While we might be afraid of what is lurking beneath the surface or how painful it will be to unleash the beast of our emotions, it is never as bad as we think to feel our feelings. Our fear of the feelings and the pain we will encounter by releasing them is far worse than the feelings themselves. What we can focus our thoughts on is how much relief we will experience when we start to express how we truly feel. Crying is a cathartic form of release that allows us to lean into just how awful we feel under the surface; once we experience the release that comes from feeling, we create space for new feelings to come forth and give our bodies a reprieve from the heaviness of carrying emotions we’ve collected over time.
Get connected
Join a community of those with similar interests or beliefs — be it spiritual, athletic, artistic or hobby-related. Feeling like we are a part of a community gives us a sense of belonging and reminds us that we aren’t alone in this world. Humans have a true need to belong and connect with others. Depression leaves us prone to isolation and we end up feeling disconnected from the world around us. Belonging to something bigger than ourselves will begin to break the binds of depression and get us to socialize when we’d otherwise sit at home. Allowing people to care for us will help build those feel-good, positive thoughts and feelings that encourage growth in our viewpoints of ourselves and our situation.
Volunteer
Service work is an incredible way to overcome a depressed mood or depression itself; when we volunteer, we experience a sense of purpose, belonging, significance and brotherhood. This overall sense serves us just as much as those we end up serving. We don’t volunteer to be served, but our spirit and hearts tend to receive more than we expect out of service. With the world returning to normality, volunteer opportunities are opening up again. Think about the causes you care most about to choose what may be a good fit for your personality, then turn to Google for opportunities in your area. If you are hesitant to go alone, ask a friend to accompany you. Allow your life to mean something more than you ever realized, feel useful and return to the community with purpose and the intention to make a difference.