Transformation invariably begins when we start to ask questions. These are the questions posed not by our Ego but our soul. I like to think of these questions as “whispers of the soul.” While they start out as faint whispers, if left unanswered can build up in intensity like a snowball rolling down a hill. There’s no stopping our soul from beckoning; we might as well turn toward it and listen.
Nearly two years ago, I sat at my desk to watch an intro to Kabbalah video. I didn’t know it at the time, but this message would change my life, catapulting me toward the path of soul transformation. I knew very little about Kabbalah at the time; my life was unrecognizable after the perfect trifecta of disaster exploded in the same month: January 2015. My grandfather died, my fiance and I split up and my sister was diagnosed with brain cancer.
During my sister’s surgery, an earth angel sent me affirmations from the infamous Kabbalah Centre in LA. These words struck a chord in my soul—the one that was slowly resurrecting from a painful death—and began to plant new seeds of hope in my broken heart.
I recently returned to the notes I took during the Kabbalah video to gain some perspective on my soul-awakening journey. I desperately sought purpose in my life during that upheaval of existence; Kaballah made sense out of my darkest pain and flaws. I was always meant to seek complete soul transformation; God knew this all along. I was sent exactly what I needed in order to be uncomfortable enough to live my soul’s purpose.
My mother once told me, “Kari, you’re never happy. You are always searching for something better or waiting for the greener grass.” In that moment, I felt like I’d been turned upside-down and shaken until my deepest, darkest shortcoming fell out. And that shortcoming was staring me dead in the face.
It was my very search for happiness that prevented me from ever being happy. But let us first examine this word. The Webster definition of happiness is: feeling pleasure or enjoyment because of your life, situation, ect. Dictionary.com says: delighted pleased or glad as over a particular thing.
When we take the common denominator of these definitions, they both define happiness as an effect of a situation, life or even something. And when we look at it in these terms, by golly I was rarely happy; my situations were plagued by “things” that made life less than enjoyable causing me to search for something better with a never-ending, grass-is-greener mentality.
We often go through life on autopilot without ever questioning our motivations. The beauty of life is we have the ability to shift gears into manual mode.
Manual mode is tough; the road is paved with unknown twists and turns and even bridges are missing that must be built.
Some people never turn on this mode because it is very tough to maneuver. With the option of auto, who would want to learn manual?
Sometimes the Universe makes it evidently clear where you need to be; in my personal experience, I am always led to the ends of the earth that will bring me closer to my true self (even if those places are a short flight away).
There is a little-known town outside of Los Angeles called Ojai. The existence of this spiritual retreat remained unbeknownst to me until my lovely Airbnb host in Hawaii brought it to my awareness. As we discussed her past life career as a screenwriter, she mentioned a retreat where Hollywood writers would go to clear their mind and reconnect to their spiritual self (thereby giving their writing a major boost of creativity).
I had the absolute blessing to visit Denver over the weekend, a city that is quickly capturing my heart (along with a certain Denverite).
We visited Core Power Yoga for a session that my body seemed to not be having; the Denver elevation made for little sleep the night before and we had a busy day of sightseeing by way of bicycle. Nonetheless, I went in with an open heart and a determined mind. An hour of child’s pose is better than no yoga at all.
Have you ever sat in stillness to contemplate your dreams?
I have been on a wild journey of discovery that planted me right at the doorstep of my own dream: to serve others with the full expression of my true self—an intuitive healer and empowerment coach.
On a cool October evening, as I experienced the super moon eclipse from my outdoor yoga class, the instructor gave me a piece of advice: if a dream is placed on our heart, we are powerful enough to manifest it.
I’ve resisted against the winds of my heart for a long time. Now I’m too tired to push back. I’m ready to run with them.
Maybe you won’t understand why I’m fighting so hard. It may seem like I’ve pitted myself against a life most would be content to have. But I don’t want to be content.
I’m fighting for the utmost joy and a heart beaming with light. As painful as some of these day are, I love where I’m going.
At the tail end of one of the most tumultuous times I have experienced in my journey of spiritual awakening, on the cusp of change in every major area of my life: relationships, career, and home, I ventured on a walk with my dog (as I do every Saturday). This Saturday was like any other except it felt completely different. My life is rumbling with so much movement that I have felt like I stepped onto a rollercoaster ride that simply would not stop.
Although I have surrendered to the change and granted it permission to work through me to create the life I dream of, I have yet to learn how to keep my cool when shit hits the fan. And trust me, it’s blowing all around me, sending me in fifteen directions at once.