Love As I Know It

We need to be vulnerable enough to admit what we are feeling out loud to another person. I once heard something that stuck with me: “everything we say is for us to hear.”

We need to speak the truth in our heart; we need to be heard and seen by others to feel valued. It’s when we hide our thoughts, feelings or emotions from others that we fall victim to our own lack of vulnerability.

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I Choose You

I choose a lover who professes their love with whatever form suits their soul.

I choose a lover who doesn’t hold their tongue, no matter what the message is.

I choose a lover who soothes my soul with just one touch.

I choose a lover who knows what they want and finds it in me.

I choose a lover who awakens from a nights sleep giddy over my fresh face and new day.

I choose a lover who knows how to play and embraces their inner child.

I choose a lover who has been through hell so as to recognize and appreciate fucking fantastic when it arrives.

I choose a lover that embodies mind, body and spirit in their chaotic life.

I choose a lover whose faith is steadfast and heart is forthright.

I choose a lover whose flame never dwindles but only grows stronger.

I choose a lover who knows who I am and what I dream of at my core.

I choose a lover who will swim in my pool of vulnerability and not be weary of the deep end.

I choose a lover who wears passion just as unabashedly as his favorite, worn-in t-shirt.

I choose a lover who marvels at the tiniest wonders with me.

I choose a lover who believes our connection is the greatest gift in life.

I choose a lover who never looks back but braves each storm together.

I choose a lover whose words touch my heart and awaken my soul.

I choose a lover whose lips melt into mine taking me to another time and space.

I choose a lover who will dig deep trenches inside my heart and fill it with a love so passionate and raw that every open crack is patched.

I choose a lover that doesn’t choose me by default, but fights to choose me.

I choose a lover who understands I’m not a property that can be owned, remodeled or upgraded.

I choose a lover who allows freedom for our individual foundations to be laid with solid intentions.

I choose a lover who feels deeply, loves irrationally and lives wholeheartedly.

I choose a lover who views kindness as an obligation, not a choice.

I choose a lover who has an unwavering sense of faith, purpose and light.

I choose a lover who believes this world is inherently good, that it is souls like us who serve as a gripping reminder.

I choose a lover that chooses me first, that would choose me even if I didn’t choose him.

I choose a lover that sits beside me at the end of the day simply because where I am is home.

I choose a lover who lights up the room with insidious love, laughter and kindness.

I choose a lover who will show me why it never worked before.

I choose a lover whose laugh ignites my very soul, whose voice feels like a familiar calling, whose kiss feels like the one I’ve waited my whole life for.

I choose a lover who teaches me everything I think I know about love and everything I have yet to learn.

I choose a lover whose idea of adventure is choosing an ice cream flavor along with combing the rainforest.

I choose a lover who thinks each new day is a chance to write a new story, one that is better than the last.

I choose a lover who has the utmost sense of who he is at the soul level.

This is who I choose. I choose you, over and over, on any day, under any roof, amidst every starry night. I choose you.

And I will keep choosing you until our souls part.

I Am…

You are light.
You are love.
You are whole.

Know that you are perfect in this moment. Your past, your childhood conditioning, your relationships or your job do not define you.

You are a divine being of Light and you are Love at the very core. When you connect to the true nature of your soul, you will simply radiate from the inside out. You will become a beacon of hope and healing to all those you encounter. This is who you are.

So drop the dead weight and baggage you carry from your past, because you deserve to feel light and love.

Imagine a word you want to embrace and embody, then create a mantra around that word. My mantra today and every day is: I am light. I am love. I am whole.

My life coach, Sky Blossoms, advises in her book, Best Thing Ever, to write your chosen mantra or word on your mirror, at your desk or in your car (or all three), and leave it there for 30 days. Repeat it daily to yourself.

Notice the changes in you after the month closes; see the difference you feel in your mind, body and spirit. When we decide something and allow it to pervade our being, something shifts in our body. Our body responds to whatever is in our mind. So choose to believe and repeat empowering words to yourself often.

Our mind comes up with enough negative jibber jabber on a daily basis; counter some of that with positive reinforcement in your thoughts and words. Your mind will catch on and your body will follow suit in beyond measurable ways. Try it and see just how much of a difference this will make in your life.

Just Do You

If you do you and keep your basket full, you are bound to upset some people who want your time and attention. Do you want to give them your half-assed, spread-too-thin self or be sure you’re taking care of yourself first? Because the latter will allow you to show up with a healthier, more loving perspective and attitude.

I promise you will upset, piss off or annoy certain people either way; you might as well take the time to make yourself happy first.

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Forget Tinder—I’m Dating Myself

I am a wonderful, kind, deep, purposeful, whole, multi-dimensional individual. And I recently made a mindful choice not to beat around the dating bush. The woman I have evolved into only wants to date someone who touches my soul. Until I find someone who is worth my precious time, I wholeheartedly choose to date myself.

You see, I am a bonafide Libra; I live for love, literally, and this typecast has enticed me to spend a lot of energy on finding my soul mate, match, twin flame or whatever name you want to call the person who sets your soul on fire.

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Courage to Be Myself

One doesn’t often dig into the meaning of a word, the essence behind it, or the root of the word itself. Brené Brown does this like a champ in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection. One word’s meaning stuck out to me more than others, a word that defines my journey to an open heart: courage.

The root of the word courage is in fact heart (cor). Brené defines courage as the ability to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart. This might have been the single most vulnerable action in my journey as it was what I most struggled with in my downfall.

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The Mastery of Love

Little guy is passed out on my chest while I pick up one of my all-time favorite reads, The Mastery of Love–A Toltec Wisdom Book.

The words on these pages speak to me based on how open my heart is. Although I have read it multiple times, it’s as if I’m really hearing the wisdom for the first time.

Don Miguel Ruiz also wrote The Four Agreements, one of the most important books ever written in my humble opinion. It’s a must-read and a great precursor to The Mastery of Love.

A Toltec is an artist it Love,
an artist of the Spirit,
someone who is creating every moment,
every second, the most beautiful art – the Art of Dreaming.

Life is nothing but a dream,
and if we are artists,
then we can create our life with Love,
and our dram becomes a masterpiece of art.

—Don Miguel Ruiz, The Mastery of Love

#openheart #masteryoflove #novabear #love #toltec #toltecwisdom

Soulful Collisions

Anyone can walk onto your path at any moment. Your job is to decide how long they walk alongside you.

We learn by doing and so allow them to prove their worth. Allow them to show their love.

At some point along the way you will either see the light they wake up inside you or they will dim your flame.

Soulmates come and go, each helping us get to the place where we come to stand on our own. That place of wholeness in our heart that was there all along.

Sometimes we can’t see what’s inside our own soul. We simply don’t believe what lingers until our soulmate shines a mirror to reflect the greatness within or the shadows buried beneath.

Never resent or take for granted the beautiful soul before you. Breathe in their grace and the lessons they bring you. And one day when your paths are ready to break, thank them with gratitude for the place you have arrived where knowingness and deep love resonate.

Take your shattered pieces that seem to have fallen and walk away toward the one true path where no one can enter if you do not choose.

Guard your precious heart with the wisdom of clarity for there will be a day when someone comes to stay. Where home feels familiar in the place they carry you.

Your path will keep steady, your journey entwined. They will see your broken pieces and love you all the same. Hold true to the one who lifts your wild heart and fills it with pure joy.

Keep the one who elevates your chosen path of dreams. And hold tight to their embrace. Their love will shake you to the core and awaken your soul.

Stick With Love

As we honor the great Dr. King, remember your path will always accelerate by choosing love. Carrying around baggage of hate, resentment or anger is far too heavy a burden for your heart to manage. Lighten the load by forgiving yourself first, then others.

Release your emotions via whichever healthy method you prefer: prayer, meditation, exercise, rest, journaling or any number of activities that lessen the load you carry.

The potential of a lighter heart is limitless. And remember to open up to receive love as well. It is often a remedy simply to connect with others in laughter or even tears if you feel like releasing that way.

By giving our heavy emotions attention either in our own heart or with trusted companions, this focus alone is the first step to healing.

To Love With a Whole Heart

whole-love

On my journey to repair my broken heart, I discovered that in feeling the depth of my pain, I actually feel more whole than ever before. And my whole heart is ready to love on a new plane, one that understands love as if I am love. That’s what I am when fear is stripped away. That’s why I am here.

And so coming to this place of love, for myself and for everyone in my life (including those I felt betrayed by), I find myself wanting to go to that place where love thrives. I want to escape the mundane grind of everyday life and create one that is riddled with love: friendly love, sibling love, platonic love, romantic love and unconditional love.

As a society, we are wired to search for love—to complete a part of us that we feel is lacking by plucking an elusive partner (as if we truly know what’s best for us). You decide that this stranger will somehow make your life better by filling up some space inside your heart that feels incomplete.

And so as the law of attraction states, you will also attract someone who is looking for a partner to complete them. I’m not a math whiz by any means, but I know that two halves make a whole. The problem with this is: once you remove one half, you cannot be whole. You are very simply putting yourself in a vulnerable situation in which you rely on another person to feel whole. Not only is this absolutely dangerous for your wellbeing, but it is just as treacherous for the other half of your equation. The immense pressure you’ve just set each other up for is not only unhealthy, but unsustainable too.

I have been the co-dependent girl who searched for love outside myself to feel whole. I know the very empty place it leaves you in when someone cannot live up to the absolutely impossible job you’ve signed them up for. An even worse predicament arises when your other half needs to feel whole too. You gather what you can from your already depleted reserve, but you cannot give what you do not already possess.

So after two failed relationships in a row, I decided to get wiser. My whole world simply cannot crumble if my partner doesn’t take so much of it with them. I knew if I were to succeed in love, I had to look inward. I could spend my life in denial and blame others for my heartbreak or I could get busy uncovering the void in my heart that attributed to my relationship demise.

I would choose to love myself first. I would feel the immense pain in my heart and I would use that as fuel for my self discovery. If we search for love to fill a void in our own lives, we most certainly don’t love ourselves fully and we cannot embrace (or find) the love that lingers in our own heart.

I decided to create a sense of wholeness, one that would render me independent, self sufficient and wildly in love with my life and myself. Rumi reminds me time and time again that “Your task is not to seek love but to find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Self love or lack thereof was my biggest hurdle. I couldn’t find the place of peace in my own heart that would sustain me. I wouldn’t accept my own life circumstances and feel gratitude for what I do have. So I went to find peace outside myself and that always managed to be from relationships. Placing myself in their life always seemed better than what I was dealing with. But after living a life that didn’t feel authentic, attempting to love with less than a whole heart while lifting them up inside, and feeling lost at the end, I knew I had it all wrong. And two wrong, less than whole people don’t make a right (and never will).

Fast forward one year of being single and learning to love myself and others unconditionally. And let me tell you a secret. You do not need to be in a relationship to do this. I would actually urge you not to be in a relationship at this time. You will most certainly attract the same kind of less than whole people while in this phase of your progression. And unless you feel strongly that the universe has delivered this person to you in order to hammer the lesson into your brain further (and you might very well need another dose of reality), do not invest your time in a relationship right now.

Love yourself during this time. Look into the shadows of your soul to find why you have a less than loving perspective of yourself. Friends and family are a beautiful blessing to your during this time. They are also a reflection of the love you are radiating currently and will reflect any less than loving feelings that may arise. If we cannot love our close friends or family unconditionally, then odds are we won’t be able to love anyone else to that degree either.

Go back to the drawing board every time your inclination is to judge or show any behavior that is less than loving toward yourself or your loved ones. It is here that you can learn to reconstruct your programmed mind that keeps you safe from perceived dangers, protects your heart and tells you what is right or wrong in any case. You can only place right or wrong on your own journey based on how loving you feel in that moment. We cannot place any semblance of right or wrong on others; they’re fighting their own inner battle, so you must continue to show up with love.

Ego will fight against this loving sentiment and place fear where love should be (especially if someone is showing you less than loving intentions). Know that it isn’t personal; showing someone less than love by reacting negatively only hurts you.

When you are love, you recognize love and see no barriers to it. You can fall in love in one day. You can let your deepest, most vulnerable self be seen and touched by another. And you can give up your search for love, because you are love. And the love you are will undoubtedly attract that same love in another.

If you are whole and you are love, then your partner will be whole and will be love. Together two whole hearts will create a love that illuminates every part of your world. You will grow and be tested in unforeseen ways. You will feel like your best self where your soul continues to shine. You won’t need or require the love of another, yet you’ll be lucky enough to have it when you lose sight of the love in your own heart. They will see your resilient spirit. And they will never let you forget where you’ve been or where you’re going with an open and loving heart.

Together, the unity and vision you create will set you on a journey where you alone may not reach. You will give the ultimate gift of unconditional love and finally surrender to receive this gift in return. You will never take for granted the way this one makes you feel. And it will be your pleasure to remind them every day of the pristine heart they truly are.

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